Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
