woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
