Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
