You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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