don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
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