I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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