They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
