we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
