So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
