my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
is wine microwaveable?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize