You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
