are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
