sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
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