Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
