Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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