We're like a lot better than the average bears
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
