I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
