your room smells of hookers.
And success
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
