ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
