after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
