I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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