It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
