operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
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Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
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Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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