What did we do last night that was yellow?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
