Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
