I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
