He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
