This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
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Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
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So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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