I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
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