It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
