If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
