Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
