who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Randomize
