Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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