wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
