she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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