Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
The Olympian is in my bed
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
