i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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