Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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