Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
