So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Randomize
