Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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