While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
this beer tastes like vomit already
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize