ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Your cock deserves a montage
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
