Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You ate ashes out of my bong
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