# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
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