I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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