talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
