Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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