So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
