From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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