Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
