her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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