OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Then you guys just all showered together...?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize