Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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