I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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