Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party