he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...